Left with more questions than answers.

I just realized today, that I probably shouldn't look at pictures of my friends and their young families anymore. Its weird looking at people my age, slightly older and younger, holding little bouncing babies on their laps. Maybe it's just part of the religion under which I was raised, but I really feel that parenthood is the ultimate reason that we exist. Biologically, as well, for those of you for whom religion isn't a valid worldview. We exist, solely, to pass on our genetic markers to the next generation. Evolutionarily speaking, anyone who doesn't do this is a failure. That's very cut and dried, and not intended as an insult to those of us who either choose not to or cannot pass on our genes. It's just my way of establishing that there is a deep primal drive within our DNA to have children, as well as the conditioning of belief and religion on top of that. This makes one of the few cases in which belief and biology are not at odds. That's some pretty powerful stuff to try to overcome if you want to stay living the bachelor's life forever, which, if anyone has ever read my blog, they know is not my ultimate goal, just one that I've resigned myself to at this point. I think I need to take a longer break.
I'm really sick of people saying, "We should just be friends." Before they even get a chance to know me. Hey, if there wasn't any interest, just don't give me your number, don't decide that before even really going on a date after you give it to me. I have a pretty thick skin, but if you hear shit like that enough, it definitely hurts. So, this is frustration of the accumulation of pinpricks, not one giant wound. Maybe that's why I'm more crotchety lately, but yeah, if I approach you as wanting to see if things can work, do me a favor and don't be my friend if they don't. I have plenty of friends already.
So, yeah, I'm a little bitter and a little angry, I'm kinda sick of seeing happy photos of smiling one and two year olds. Yeah, I am happy for you, but I'm definitely taking shots from all sides here, wondering what the fuck is so wrong with me that I can't ever have what other people have. It's not for lack of trying, I just can't really seem to find anyone who catches my interest enough that I want to seriously date them, or the shit falls apart before I even get a chance to formulate an opinion. But that's neither here nor there, and being bitter doesn't help anything. I still need to figure out more about myself before I'm ready for any of that. It's funny, i'm closer to 26 than to 25 now, which means I'm closer to 30 than 20, and if anything, life has more questions than answers for me now than it did when I was 20. I graduated almost four years ago, and I'm just barely finding something that I want to do that I can make money at. I laugh when people say you'll understand someday, because the proliferation of confusion definitely means that someday doesn't ever come.