So, first off, it's been a while since I decided to put my feelings on the internet for everyone to read, that's the danger of blogging. You use it like a journal, but it isn't a journal. Everyone can read it. So, I'd like to apologize to a certain person who I'd been blogging my feelings about so I didn't actually say them and possibly freak her out, which, if she read my blog, I probably succeeded in doing, given that we hadn't known each other long at the time. But that's neither here nor there, she's a really cool, awesome person, regardless. But timing really is everything, and you can't be so excited to meet someone that you end up pushing things rather than letting them take their natural course. Things will always work themselves out in the end.
I think that my main problem when it comes to dating is that I haven't really had a lot of relationships that lasted longer than a few weeks. I have had a couple, but the vast majority of my interactions with girls have been whirlwinds of fun and passion, with little real substance, so the fact that I actually met someone who had real substance and I thought could have really gone somewhere freaked me out and I probably thought that I was going to end up blowing the damn thing anyhow, which I think I did, at least in part, even if she wasn't ready for what I felt like I was ready for. However, my reaction and nervousness clearly showed that I wasn't ready either. There's a lot of things I have to work on, patience being paramount among those things, also curbing my excitement and not building things up in my head to the point where I can't act on them intelligently. It's interesting to run into people that you dated, however briefly. It always makes you think, what if? What if I hadn't been thinking about so and so instead of actually giving you some attention when you were there for me; or what if I hadn't thought my way out of a potentially great relationship. It makes it especially difficult when you can detect a hint of their feelings simmering beneath the surface. Because those feelings never really go away. I can attest to that. No matter how angry I may be at some of the women I've dated in the past, any that I really cared about I still care about on some level. When I pray for my friends to have happiness in life, I know that a piece of that prayer is for them. So that's good I think. It also speaks to the infinite capacity of the human heart to love. It's not like everyone you love in some way diminishes your capacity to love in the future. But, sadly, it's like a stone-etched record, some feelings never really go away. You just have to cope with them. In some cases that can lead to depression, and other things. I find when I'm feeling down about a girl, the best thing I can do is to work out, it helps me feel better, and it keeps me from drinking, which I felt like doing a LOT this past month. Which shows me what a silly ass I've become. But I guess that wouldn't make me the only silly ass in the world if I climbed inside the bottle over a girl. But I might be the only one who had done it over a girl they dated for three weeks. But that was one damn awesome girl, let me tell you. She's got a pretty bright future, not to mention the prettiest eyes I've ever seen in my life. I hope I meet someone with eyes like that again in the future.
So, anyway, enough about my lamentations for love lost or never had. Let's talk about the impending lockout of the NFL players on March 4th of this year. At least it isn't March 15th. The Ides of March would be a foreboding date indeed for the assassination of the 2011 season of our beloved NFL. Honestly, I feel that the owners are being incredibly hypocritical in their advocation of an 18 game season while at the same time imposing fines for big hits that may cause head trauma. Technically it's the same number of games, because you'd be eliminating two pre-season games, but honestly it would dilute the records and everyone knows that you play harder in the regular season than the pre-season. People are going to get hurt. We have enough former football players suffering from pugilistic dementia at present. I feel that the union needs to get better benefits for former players in retirement as well. I'm very alarmed by the numbers of former defensive linemen dying in their 40s. It's more often from complications from head injuries than from heart conditions. The meetings between the players and the owners should take care of this at the very least.
And lastly, a little bit of politics. I'm going to sound off on the efforts of the Wisconsin and Ohio governors to kill unions. As a strong advocate of unions and workers rights, I feel that this is a horrible idea. These republican politicians represent the interests of the big businesses who contribute to their campaigns. Who's the enemy of big business exploiting their work force? Teamsters unions and other labor groups. Unless workers have the right to unionize, there is no way that a round of future budget cuts won't leave people out in the cold. It's all ethics, something that I feel the GOP has very little of these days. I'm not even going to touch on the stupid things that Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann say every day. Anyway, that's all for today, I'll try to update again more frequently. Ciao.
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