Keepin on keepin on

Something is missing. I know what that is. I think it's funny, I have a friend with the exact same problem that I have right now. It's ironic that we both have the same problem, two lonely people who can do nothing to help alleviate the others' loneliness. Two people yearning for another that can't be that person for the other, and can only encourage and cheer the other in their search. I find that kind of funny, also sad.

But it is what it is. The only thing I can do is trust in God's plan for me, and keep on keepin on until He reveals that plan to me. I've had a lot of blessings come pouring out in the last couple weeks, so I am sure that they will keep coming. Even if sometimes I feel like I'm one of those people who's always going to be alone. I think the deep void of loneliness in my soul is the reason why I identify with certain characters that I do. Tim Riggins, Wolverine, Greg House, Harry Bosch... loners all of them. It's interesting when there's a great epic story, but it lacks that romantic element that generally acts as a foil for the heroes of most epic tales. Aragorn had Arwen, Drizzt has Catti-Brie, Michael Corleone had Kay. Hell, Bosch even had Eleanor Wish for a little while, and House now finally has Cuddy. So that gives me a modicum of hope, I wonder if in our minds we expect people to find love and happiness because we are programmed to be helpless romantics? Are we programmed to believe in love as a possibility for everyone? Or is it something that only a select few truly get to enjoy. Falling in and out of love is something that has heretofore defined my life until the past few years, when liaisons have been few and far between. I'm wondering if that's a result of me looking too hard and being too specific, or if it's a side effect of having withdrawn into myself after the failure of my engagement?

Either way, it's interesting. Half of me just wants to walk the earth. Roaming from town to town and doing good. I feel that might fill the void up. But of course, in order to do that I would have to sever all ties with twenty first century life. I think if I'm thirty-five and still feeling this way, then that's definitely an option I will consider. But I guess we will see.